I’m sorry the number you have dialed is no longer available ever again?

24fc2ebc4bdd7e24d2f7ad4681691564I’m sorry the number you have dialed is no longer available ever again?  Huh??

I am silenced officially by the living.  The good news is even though you are not here to be with me or with your friends or colleagues who miss you at the hospital.  You are more alive than the representatives who share your official genetics.  And they have ordered me to stop talking with that genetic recipe you came from.

I am sorry that you must have to hear about this through the plane of spirituality you reside in, but we are okay.  You always told me that some lessons are very hard to learn or live with, but, this time, I can watch this life lesson of your official representatives at a totally different perspective.  With that said, I think it’s enough said.  I’ve let that die as well.  It’s sad that it’s end is to me nothing more than a bug hitting my windshield on any given day.

I’m getting business taken care of.  Slowly the chaos is becoming harmony again.  The immense life lesson is taking shape in its meaning and the meaning is beginning to revel the intricacies it contains.  This puzzle, yes , contains immense concentration. Concentration has been missing out of my life for a long time.  I welcome it back.  

The “Nicole Curtis plan”  is in my mind and will still take place.  It will be a little different for you and me but, your family (this one), friends and colleagues will gather and we will salute our life force in a toast.  Time will resume again, our time.

It’s another quiet Friday night, just your creature demanding the Temptation buffet continue a few more hours.  Miss ya hun-hun.  I miss you so much.

A letter to you Scott, I just need to give you a loving nudge.


I wanted you to know, where ever you are, whatever you can read,  that I’m going back to what we discussed prior to your passing.   I’ve decided to going back to the promise the serious discussion we had after finishing my job in Covington.  I made peace with my most dear friend, and the closest man I considered to be a  real brother sibling.  His advice brought clarity to the tons of suggestions and advice I got from my sisters.  I know they are concerned but they were way off my wishes when we spoke of the future.  I know it’s not ever going to be what we wanted or what I did, but it will be damn close to what we planned.  I want you to be able to come down (if you can of course find that possible) and in whatever plane of existence you are in you’ll see everything that brought us joy and happiness.  I want you to see me proud, successful and surrounded by my friends that I always thought were yours, but in all reality they cared for me just as much which they showed me during your visitation.  Still, not sure about the uniformed Columbus Police officer watching us.  But, I’ve decided to let that go.

I won’t let you down, my plate is fuller than a chinese buffet plate that just came out with freshand hot from the kitchen.  Everyone, all of your friends have my back if I need it.  that all miss you a great deal.

Cree, Romeo and the outside babies are well.  I can tell they are taking it hard.  They spend a lot of time alone.  Romeo in his usual front window on patrol.  Creature,  spends a lot of time sitting in her favourite chair in the corner.  Ii may be that they are just sick of the fleas.  I fogged the entire house and used the flea treatment you apply in that area they can’t lick.  Oh, they so were on to me with that.

Needless to say, I love you, I miss you a great deal especially on our usual Saturday night spooky-vision nites and your side of the couch seems lonely without you there with your little netbook showing me stuff to make me gag and our back and forth snarky banter.  Your shopping list you started is still there.  Just not ready for it to be picked up and thrown away.

Until later, either a word in a dream, making me drop a glass and a light bulb the same day.  I know you are all around.  And if you can, you’ll let me know.

The tomatoes look great.  Huge healthy, blooming.  Only missing is what you were going to do to them for us.

Always hun-hun.

My time to say goodbye


After 17 years with the same partner and his unexpected passing this past week I would like to say goodbye to you here and to leave some thoughts to his side of the his family whom discounted me as a stranger, a non-person in their family unit and who treated me inappropriately as if I were a casual stranger in their lives.  Not to discount his many friends he worked with in all of years as a drug Representative, a home health aid and an an employee with the State of Florida.  They all came to honor his life.  And this, doesn’t even address the people who’s life he impacted at St. Francis Hospital working as an RN. who came out to honor him for the short time he was there,

Without going though all of the disgraceful and terribly vindictive details.  I can only describe his service as one that honoured more of a nameless homeless man or woman than someone who gave his dedication, his support, his love for children to play Santa year after year for children than someone who friends, colleagues, a partner who couldn’t even come up and say a few appropriate and meaningful words to the church that he put a lot of his free time into.

I hope the pastor takes my offer to act as a mediator for what horror I witnessed.  Everything which i saw included an armed Columbus Police offer standing in the back to the items that my partner and to having a very appropriate picture of the the two of us removed seconds after being included with the picture history of Scott.

We as a couple collected over 17 years of items, paintings, statues, vases, Tiffany for our home that made both of us so very happy in our home in Florida,  I pray and have faith in God that my life does not end with family members claiming that I had no ownership to anything that my 17 years that meant the world to me comes down for me to own nothing but a metal folding chair,  I pray that I mean more to you than the spectacle and now history of the events that took place.