Nine months on now. The date says that on the calendar. The healing process is well on its way, or so I like to think, but its days when from the depths of my emotional self that loneliness and emptiness rears it’s ugly self, and consumes me with deep sadness, and non-closure. It is the days that I call it “disconnection”. To share a moment, or a joke that only could be appreciated by you is not an option. I hate it now. But, the day when this finally resolves down the road, will I loose perspective on you emotionally or will it reconfigure into a positive look back? Today isn’t the day. I miss you.
As most unexpected events including the ones you’ve read over several postings and that FB page. The blog, affectionately known by me since 2008 as “Any Other Life”, may be experiencing a whole different life very soon.
My blog basically runs out of my cable connection from my bedroom via a 2006ish PC with Ubuntu 14.04 server using a dynamic domain name service. You type in the right address you see this, and if you type my other website you get my EMS forum page. In very basic terms, that’s how it works. The problem is now that my life has hit that virtual blue screen, cable will be going away, following no web surfing, no music, and most important the blog news news black out. Not the end, though. Have faced this road a few in the past and with more resources that are available just got to find them and get them to take over ops.
Not the end, but looking at the options.
I deeply sadden by a weekend of cleaning, sorting, discovering, recovering and organizing a collection of 17 years of collectables over the years. A lot of the items I hadn’t saw in years since the Orlando years brought big smiles to my face. I was able to find Alan, who now heads back home to Florida awaiting my return and hopefully Scott’s ashes will finally be added to the “vase” he always thought he should be in, because you’d want to look at it everyday. Scott took care of his partner in the mid 80’s when no HIV treatment was available, he watched him die at home next to him. Very very dark days.
The sad part was finding boxes of personal items that belonged to the family. Pictures, of his father, mother, brother and sister when they were very young often and in their embrace. I know was personally saddened when a lot of our family pictures over the years became displaced and lost with only a recovery of maybe 20 percent of them.
I was labelled very quickly along with my catholic family for engaging in “harassing behaviour”, against the family members. I guess Kubler-Ross hasn’t made it this far south yet. Who knows. Is it in the Baptist no-fly list?
I have reached out to the attorney professionally that decided to hande my cease-desist that there might be a painting they all cared for at one point. No calls came. It sadly went off to donation to make someone else happy. Now, an additional call to the office about the pictures. I did grow up having feelings, morals and values. The harassment in their minds only indicates guilt, and maybe a dysfunctional study done by Carl Jung. Here’s a suggestion, pull out a copy of the 1912’s “Wandlungen und Symbole der Libido” by Jung. I remember reading the german translation back in school. Guess here in some of these GA schools, it might be too risqué.
But, I cannot and will not hold the pictures for an extended period of time. As a move of reasonable gesture I would like to make a trade for some ashes and obtain a certified death certificate (Which I for shouldn’t ever have to barter for). On Sat. the 30th, I will respectfully dispose of them in an appropriate way. In no way am I mocking the document sent to me by the attorney office. I just want to try make sense out of a senseless vendetta. Honestly, I’m throwing in the towel. I have a future. I’m moving on, and you all make Columbus the city that you certainly think the universe revolves around.
This will be my last post about anything dealing with or about family belongings, personal opinions, non personal opinions, or other-wise, Nor, anything at all with ever be said about the party concerned most gladly. I have a real family. A family that truly loves me good/bad or otherwise, and an extended family that I had the privileged meeting in those blessed 17 years.