valuables to most, became valuable to no one


I deeply sadden by a weekend of cleaning, sorting, discovering, recovering and organizing a collection of 17 years of collectables over the years.  A lot of the items I hadn’t saw in years since the Orlando years brought big smiles to my face.  I was able to find Alan, who now heads back home to Florida awaiting my return and hopefully Scott’s ashes will finally be added to the “vase” he always thought he should be in, because you’d want to look at it everyday. Scott took care of his partner in the mid 80’s when no HIV treatment was available, he watched him die at home next to him. Very very dark days.

The sad part was finding boxes of personal items that belonged to the family.  Pictures, of his father, mother, brother and sister when they were very young often and in their embrace.   I know was personally saddened when a lot of our family pictures over the years became displaced and lost with only a recovery of maybe 20 percent of them.

I was labelled very quickly along with my catholic family for engaging in “harassing behaviour”,  against the family members.  I guess Kubler-Ross hasn’t made it this far south yet.  Who knows.  Is it in the Baptist no-fly list?

I have reached out to the attorney professionally that decided to hande my cease-desist that there might be a painting they all cared for at one point.  No calls came. It sadly went off to donation to make someone else happy.  Now, an additional call to the office about the pictures.  I did grow up having feelings, morals and values. The harassment in their minds only indicates guilt, and maybe a dysfunctional study done by Carl Jung.  Here’s a suggestion,  pull out a copy of the 1912’s “Wandlungen und Symbole der Libido” by Jung.  I remember reading the german translation back in school.  Guess here in some of these GA schools, it might be too risqué.

But, I cannot and will not hold the pictures for an extended period of time. As a move of reasonable gesture I would like to make a trade for some ashes and obtain a certified death certificate (Which I for shouldn’t ever have to barter for).  On Sat. the 30th, I will respectfully dispose of them in an appropriate way.  In no way am I mocking the document sent to me by the attorney office.  I just want to try make sense out of a senseless vendetta. Honestly, I’m throwing in the towel. I have a future. I’m moving on, and you all make Columbus the city that you certainly think the universe revolves around.

This will be my last post about anything dealing with or about family belongings, personal opinions, non personal opinions, or other-wise,  Nor, anything at all with ever be said about the party concerned most gladly. I have a real family. A family that truly loves me good/bad or otherwise, and an extended family that I had the privileged meeting in those blessed 17 years.

I’m sorry the number you have dialed is no longer available ever again?

24fc2ebc4bdd7e24d2f7ad4681691564I’m sorry the number you have dialed is no longer available ever again?  Huh??

I am silenced officially by the living.  The good news is even though you are not here to be with me or with your friends or colleagues who miss you at the hospital.  You are more alive than the representatives who share your official genetics.  And they have ordered me to stop talking with that genetic recipe you came from.

I am sorry that you must have to hear about this through the plane of spirituality you reside in, but we are okay.  You always told me that some lessons are very hard to learn or live with, but, this time, I can watch this life lesson of your official representatives at a totally different perspective.  With that said, I think it’s enough said.  I’ve let that die as well.  It’s sad that it’s end is to me nothing more than a bug hitting my windshield on any given day.

I’m getting business taken care of.  Slowly the chaos is becoming harmony again.  The immense life lesson is taking shape in its meaning and the meaning is beginning to revel the intricacies it contains.  This puzzle, yes , contains immense concentration. Concentration has been missing out of my life for a long time.  I welcome it back.  

The “Nicole Curtis plan”  is in my mind and will still take place.  It will be a little different for you and me but, your family (this one), friends and colleagues will gather and we will salute our life force in a toast.  Time will resume again, our time.

It’s another quiet Friday night, just your creature demanding the Temptation buffet continue a few more hours.  Miss ya hun-hun.  I miss you so much.

A letter to you Scott, I just need to give you a loving nudge.


I wanted you to know, where ever you are, whatever you can read,  that I’m going back to what we discussed prior to your passing.   I’ve decided to going back to the promise the serious discussion we had after finishing my job in Covington.  I made peace with my most dear friend, and the closest man I considered to be a  real brother sibling.  His advice brought clarity to the tons of suggestions and advice I got from my sisters.  I know they are concerned but they were way off my wishes when we spoke of the future.  I know it’s not ever going to be what we wanted or what I did, but it will be damn close to what we planned.  I want you to be able to come down (if you can of course find that possible) and in whatever plane of existence you are in you’ll see everything that brought us joy and happiness.  I want you to see me proud, successful and surrounded by my friends that I always thought were yours, but in all reality they cared for me just as much which they showed me during your visitation.  Still, not sure about the uniformed Columbus Police officer watching us.  But, I’ve decided to let that go.

I won’t let you down, my plate is fuller than a chinese buffet plate that just came out with freshand hot from the kitchen.  Everyone, all of your friends have my back if I need it.  that all miss you a great deal.

Cree, Romeo and the outside babies are well.  I can tell they are taking it hard.  They spend a lot of time alone.  Romeo in his usual front window on patrol.  Creature,  spends a lot of time sitting in her favourite chair in the corner.  Ii may be that they are just sick of the fleas.  I fogged the entire house and used the flea treatment you apply in that area they can’t lick.  Oh, they so were on to me with that.

Needless to say, I love you, I miss you a great deal especially on our usual Saturday night spooky-vision nites and your side of the couch seems lonely without you there with your little netbook showing me stuff to make me gag and our back and forth snarky banter.  Your shopping list you started is still there.  Just not ready for it to be picked up and thrown away.

Until later, either a word in a dream, making me drop a glass and a light bulb the same day.  I know you are all around.  And if you can, you’ll let me know.

The tomatoes look great.  Huge healthy, blooming.  Only missing is what you were going to do to them for us.

Always hun-hun.